feeling useless

1 Nov

maybe  shouldn’t even be an intern next year. maybe pa is right…I’ll go in ttc or can I just take a break and not do anything…don’t feel like im benefitting from the main parts of my internship…feels so crappy now… everything is Emmanuel get to do… im like invisible..like that… or maybe people see it as I cant seem to do stuff…whatever… just feel like im useless or I have to be like after uni to be useful or whatever crap… feel so useless… everything is Emmanuel get to do or ask Emmanuel or its Emmanuel turn…whatever lah…from now on im just going to slack…I don’t care whether I get to learn anything or not… or whether I get to learn what I want to learn … I’ll just leave on time since he does it… and do what I want…whether I learn isn’t my business anymore I don’t care. he complains saying he doesn’t want to do wants to get out of stuff but for him it seems to work and people don’t care say he is so kind and nice…whatever lah…just cause I cant talk to aunties…maybe im not even meant to be a pastor or a worker…I’d rather just stay home n be a tai tai. 

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