Archive | March, 2012


12 Mar

Sometimes I wonder why learn stuff… Im not against learning but neither am I bothered about it…lol I mean if we stop trying to learn things for the sake of usefulness I wonder what we could actually do with all that spare time. Because although we would end up learning something it would be because we want to and not because we have to.

At times I think Im a rather mean person… But if i really do end up liking you as a friend you will hardly ever see that side of me…However if i am constantly being insulted that is not the same as telling me im blur but insult what i love to do or treat me with no respect whatsoever then I will really be mean…

That being said i dont want to write a thank you note to my teacher after being insulted about my character…that to me defeats the purpose of thanking someone for taking the time to care and know you. So can i just do that? not write the note despite my whole class writing something on the same card…if it was just my own card i wouldnt give one because she doesnt know my name nor who i am and yet has the audacity to insult me…but they want to do it as a class how??

People are all worried about their future and sometimes it seems like they are worried about mine too…hahas i do appreciate the fact that they care but i have no clue what im suppose to do although i do have a slight clue but not sure how to get there…its not like as if i can take a degree and apply for that kind of job…people have been ‘suggesting’ that i do this and do that and i guess i will but i wish i knew what to do this year so i can just get ppl to stop telling me… or know that thats the right choice because i dont really want to do it at all… to be honest if i could do what i wanted i would spend one whole year reading… but not at home because i would just slack n sleep but in an office with tons of books and the bible and read and explore and go for conferences and maybe bethel school of ministry…i dont want to just do that my whole life and i understand that but just one year… in a proper reading place and let Daddy teach me His way… thats what i want to do for this year…nothing else on my schedule but that…i know God’s will for us is to do a whole lot of things besides that hahas but i just feel thats right feel that i want to do this  before i can go out and do everything else that He has in store. Because this year is going to change my way of thinking and show me how to live and walk in love…In His love and not with mine because mine is lacks the care and the love for people… i know how i work and who i am when it comes to people especially christians and i find it easier to love everyone who is not a christian because i can accept their imperfections but for christians to me there is a certain level of perfect or rather i hate seeing that christians hurt other christians or prevent the growth of others due to our imperfections. No christian especially the baby ones should ever be prevented from growing due to christians who are older in terms of age but not of love for God… and so those babies end up not knowing who God is and we do not let Him work in our imperfections but instead say let us perfect them and then when its perfect u can use it. To me thats the dumbest thing on earth… because then whats the point of Him if we are perfect… -.- but instead due to our imperfections the babies can grow because we let God use them… 


ahh feeling relieved because i havent thought of the bottom part hahas but i need to know my thoughts…hehes


keno…like end in korean except i dont know how to spellll it



10 Mar

mustard seed sized faith can move mountains when your spirit says it. Because then it works in line with Holy Spirit. instead of only saying with your mouth…

having mustard seed sized faith dispels all fear all disbelief… because once that faith is in you and you know it then u can do everything in Him and know that you have the faith.

But u have to know have faith that you have that mustard seed sized faith that can do anything and everything when u partner with Daddy and when u ask of Daddy.

if there is unbelief…. and faith with no doubting can do anything but if there is doubting thn erm idk to me idk what is that considered under? HOPE … u hope… but thats not faith so we gotta move from
HOPE to FAITH…. thn the mustard seed faith can move mountains  


10 Mar

Daddy if im reasoning abt u… cause it sounds like i am… thn maybe i should stop? Dont wana become like those who reason thn no faith always need to reason n thn we dont believe or accept U for who U are and always try to reason it out on things of u… everything reason…if i am im sorry and yet i think i wna finish it…

Healing…i get why God heals us but my qn is how come some of us arent and there are those who are in love with God like totally in love and dont get healed.
There is one thing though… and i always wanted to make sure i remember cause i forget many times…never put God in a formula… I know He is an amazing God and Daddy and His ways are beyond HUMAN COMPREHENSION but i also believe that if i truly desire to learn more about Him and His ways and if i learn with my Spirit rather than my mind i believe it is comprehendable… i dont know about ALL THINGS maybe now isnt the right time for me to know and i understand but some part of it i know He will tell me.
His word states that in mark 11:24 and in isaiah 53:5 both tells me that I will be healed… ‘Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.'(NKJV) in the NIV it states that I WILL HAVE THEM so to me it means I WILL HAVE THEM of course i need to accomplish the above steps to receive it in my body. and that BY HIS STRIPES I AM HEALED not will be or maybe but I ALREADY AM whether i want to accept it or not its my prob… So with trying not to put MY DADDY in a formula i think He told me two reasons… im not saying that im right cause im not sure i have listened wrongly and it may not be the only reasons… But i wanted to know so i asked(meaning i talked to Him about it) Him anyway…

so one is when you are praying for yrself and whn ppl pray for u your faith matters … without faith not the level of faith but when you are doubting then when u pray u dont believe that u will receive the healing… and in order to claim mark 11:24 the ‘believe that you receive them,’ just means faith … and faith in romans 10:17 ‘ So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.’ (NKJV) but i like the NLT version too which states ‘ So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.’ (linking to the preach the good news) so to me i see it as this ”Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, ((have faith which comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God) so that when u pray u will have the faith that comes from your heart not your mind then u can do the believe that you receive them) believe that you receive them, and you will have them.'(so that you will have them). Thats why i think your faith matters and thats why i think without it then when u are praying for yourself it may not work.

the gift of healing…for me i think as much as a person benefits from each gift that Daddy gives…to me there are 2 ppl the ‘user’ and ‘receiver of the person who receives the healing in this case’ as we are all given the gift there is a need to practice each gift… and so that may be why some arent healed when other ppl pray for them due to our human nature. Our ability to know how to tap into the fullness of the gifts (connecting to our Spirit who is in her fullness/his fullness) is not yet become an ‘expert’ and still needs practice… thinking that faith is still underlying all of this so u still need faith 🙂 and because we practice not only in being able to know how to use the gifts but also in healing different parts of the body.

Daddy’s own supernatural choice … i dont mean that all healings arent supernatural …to me every single is but rather He chooses to Heal u supernaturally cause He chooses to…the reasons hahas well differs i suppose well can ask Him for it.

So maybe you’ve been asking and you have the faith then for me I think Daddy always wants to grant the desires of your heart and It is also a promise  which u can claim because by His stripes we are healed so maybe the healing has not yet been manifested in our physical body. And like go ask diff ppl who are anointed in the gift to heal u…Go receive the gift that Daddy has given u but i think sometimes when we see that other ppl arent healed and they are lovers of God we ask why but who knows maybe their desire was just to love Him ? and they healing in that part of the body didnt become important anymore because they were so full of Him and it was something that didnt really matter to them. 

thought…preaching the gospel

4 Mar

we are made in Daddy’s image and since our Daddy is the same yesterday today and tomorrow then in some sense the people yesterday, today and tomorrow are the same too. I mean we are not totally the same but we are still made in Daddy’s image… So if the methods of preaching the gospel worked 2000 years ago and our Daddy is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and we are made in His image why shouldnt the exact same methods be the ones we use today?!?! If not then Holy Spirit tell them to write all those things in the bible for what if it didnt matter 2000 years later… I mean we follow the commandments, many other things like the spiritual gifts and the things Daddy has taught us but we say there is a need to come up with new methods and disregard the old ones when it comes to evangelising? I think the new methods are fine but we forgot the basics which should be the basis of preaching the gospel and how and what and why. And im sure He wrote all those methods in the bible for us to use even years later…He is smarter and more up-to-date than we think after all He made us and He knows how to reach out to every single one of us. So im sure His methods are the best yesterday, today and tomorrow.

another bite to eat

4 Mar

i learnt about the need to minister to Daddy… we always expect Him to minister to us without ever wanting to minister to Him. Acts 13:2

As they ministered to the Lord and fasted, the Holy Spirit said, “Now separate to Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.”NKJV version … If you read it in its context to me it just means that they minister to the Lord…because they wanted to… after ministering then Holy Spirit told them… So we should minister to our Daddy… think it makes Him happy to be ministered to by His children.

For now because i cant find the definition, ministered to the Lord means er ‘feeding (to me anyways)’ letting us love God…in tangible and visible ways ?

Just food no thought required

3 Mar

I learn from God when i speak aloud and somewhat teach myself about the things I have already learnt about God…. I mean I learn from Him through many other ways too but to me this is the best method or most used method. 

Learnt alot of things today about Him but one major thing is that the purpose of being baptised in Holy Spirit is the anointing of being able to love like God does… Because if not i dont think we will ever be able to love like He does. I guess for me it means the anointing of love the way God loves. 


Question to rmb incase i forget… does Holy Spirit have faith? I think its a yes if not how can He give it away? IN some sense because God and Holy Spirit are same same but different Holy Spirit in its fullness has faith in God… in order to do the things that He needs to do or that God or Jesus says to do… read the part about Holy Spirit does the things that God or Jesus says to do in kenneth hagin book How to be led by the Spirit of God pg 98 that whatever Holy Spirit speaks is not of Himself but whatever He hears that shall He speak. So when He hears God or Jesus speak then He will repeat…cause Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God and the three are one and one in three