12 Mar

Sometimes I wonder why learn stuff… Im not against learning but neither am I bothered about it…lol I mean if we stop trying to learn things for the sake of usefulness I wonder what we could actually do with all that spare time. Because although we would end up learning something it would be because we want to and not because we have to.

At times I think Im a rather mean person… But if i really do end up liking you as a friend you will hardly ever see that side of me…However if i am constantly being insulted that is not the same as telling me im blur but insult what i love to do or treat me with no respect whatsoever then I will really be mean…

That being said i dont want to write a thank you note to my teacher after being insulted about my character…that to me defeats the purpose of thanking someone for taking the time to care and know you. So can i just do that? not write the note despite my whole class writing something on the same card…if it was just my own card i wouldnt give one because she doesnt know my name nor who i am and yet has the audacity to insult me…but they want to do it as a class how??

People are all worried about their future and sometimes it seems like they are worried about mine too…hahas i do appreciate the fact that they care but i have no clue what im suppose to do although i do have a slight clue but not sure how to get there…its not like as if i can take a degree and apply for that kind of job…people have been ‘suggesting’ that i do this and do that and i guess i will but i wish i knew what to do this year so i can just get ppl to stop telling me… or know that thats the right choice because i dont really want to do it at all… to be honest if i could do what i wanted i would spend one whole year reading… but not at home because i would just slack n sleep but in an office with tons of books and the bible and read and explore and go for conferences and maybe bethel school of ministry…i dont want to just do that my whole life and i understand that but just one year… in a proper reading place and let Daddy teach me His way… thats what i want to do for this year…nothing else on my schedule but that…i know God’s will for us is to do a whole lot of things besides that hahas but i just feel thats right feel that i want to do this  before i can go out and do everything else that He has in store. Because this year is going to change my way of thinking and show me how to live and walk in love…In His love and not with mine because mine is lacks the care and the love for people… i know how i work and who i am when it comes to people especially christians and i find it easier to love everyone who is not a christian because i can accept their imperfections but for christians to me there is a certain level of perfect or rather i hate seeing that christians hurt other christians or prevent the growth of others due to our imperfections. No christian especially the baby ones should ever be prevented from growing due to christians who are older in terms of age but not of love for God… and so those babies end up not knowing who God is and we do not let Him work in our imperfections but instead say let us perfect them and then when its perfect u can use it. To me thats the dumbest thing on earth… because then whats the point of Him if we are perfect… -.- but instead due to our imperfections the babies can grow because we let God use them… 


ahh feeling relieved because i havent thought of the bottom part hahas but i need to know my thoughts…hehes


keno…like end in korean except i dont know how to spellll it


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