Archive | March, 2011

conference 1

30 Mar

hmm day 1 well it was the same as day 2 happy to be in God’s presence loved feeling that way.Also felt that there was a difference when the worship team lead and when a leader of bethesda church lead but also guess cause he wasnt a worship leader…Im not exactly sure.Other than that i was mainly amazed because i saw soo many people trembling and shaking and what God’s presence did.

conference 3

30 Mar

Today’s conference was awesome?amazing? lol i dont even know what are the words that i can use to describe it but i do know the experiences will stay and i want more.This morning as i was singing i felt a gentle push as i was standing and before i hit the chair i stopped myself.But then i thought it was just me so i tried making myself ‘fall’ but it failed!! It was just different, as gentle as a breeze i had a mini fall nice one.The second experience was the angels singing! I heard it on the left side super loud and super cool harmonious and nice and just sounds like there were people in the room singing but we werent!! After that all the singing sounded like it was wayy more than 800 people it was like what ken said stadium filled singing!!For those who heard the singing they went to the front( i was there too!!!) and we bowed down and prayed i was pray and i tried to speak in tongues just pushed myself to try it and after praying finished i stood up abit confused as to what to do next.I continued bowing down and i heard voices near me that was nice and loud ut the guy beside me wasnt singing and it wasnt a man’s voice and the lady on my left didnt sound like it came from her because i heard what i thought was her voice. It was seriously cool and amazing!!Something i dont think i could have ever imagined with my own eyes!I saw pastor Ruben walk to a chair in the rows and i followed him since he wasnt able to get back to his original seat as well because people filled the aisles.And i heard one song but everybody was singing different words and phrases and melodies but it sounded beautiful together and there was a back up choir(the angels) that just made it super beautiful!!

After that it was ascending into the third heaven! at first after she pray for each of us to make sure our minds are clear and imaginations did not work at that point of time and we repented of everything i saw a room with a cabinet diagonally across me and the light wasnt on but i saw three windows and they had white curtains and the light was shinning in through all 3.Then i saw two mouths one after the other both wide open and i could see all the teeth. The second part of it when she asked us to just go and be still and go into the third heaven. At first all i saw was pitch black then all of a sudden i felt dizzy and suddenly i felt like i was on a aeroplane flyingg and that is still super cool to me and i saw white then suddenly i saw yellow blurry shapes floating across then it just became totally white then i started to fly again then all i saw was white and i flew again to white n yellow and i opened my eyes cause she ended.We went into spirit led worship and i closed my eyes and saw white and red dots!I asked God a few question like what the room was about and how to change us and if there was anything He wanted me to take back i didnt get my answers after awhile so then i opened my eyes.

conference 2

29 Mar

i was hoping and wishing that i was able to get an experience…like one that other people were having but then i realised that i already had something.I felt God’s presence two different types and it was completely amazing and i felt it before but i havent felt it in a long time and i missed it. So He had already granted me what i wanted and had prayed for. SO THANKK U GOD for being able to bask in your presence once again. It was just amazing i missed it soo much. Yea He didnt grant me those experiences but i had experienced some before and my mind was absolutely clear these past two days so i already have so much to be thankful for i just had to remember it. I still cant wait for another type of experience. Im still in awe of what Ive been seeing these past two days 🙂

I saw people being drunk in the holy spirit, the speaker’s face was red and they were really drunk but it was with the holy spirit it was soo much better! The real thing was soo much better than the counterfeit that we use which is alcohol!And holy laughter is well laughing but it was cool cause i havent heard it before.

And i asked the Holy spirit to come inside of me i didnt feel like something but when i said the prayer i felt Him there.But the experience afterwards was rather odd. People were trying to force us to speak in tongues and it didnt feel calm or peaceful anymore it felt confusing rushed annoying and tense.Cause i was asked to say hallelujah but i didnt want to and she kept on forcing until i just said okay okay and repeated after her but i was more focused on keeping her quiet.And to try on my own time.And that one should pray for the person receiving the Holy spirit.

learning?

25 Mar

I dont think anyone is a bad leader on its own but rather its the leader whom the person looks up to that can change a good leader to a bad one. If the leader is one who does not set a good example, the person will follow suite. And that person is not to blame…but then the person will continue following the leader. And its sad…domino effect of leaders who make bad choices.

titleless

24 Mar

If we could drop all our masks…would we still be doing what we do?be friends?

i wonder what the answer is…i really do.

wtv

24 Mar

seriously this all sounds so screwed up.we say other places places are resisting have they come here?there was way more open than here anyway…fire and joy and love that was in those hearts burn more than the people who are going there or those of us over here.Resisting????hello…which place doesnt have warfare -.- so everywhere else dont have ah?only there or certain places?!?!?! excuse me havent been there dont act like u know.

trying to act like its something that isnt…to me its pointless…its kind of like lying to ourselves…

so many heads it doesnt even make sense.dont feel like following or listening to people who dont deserve it.and technically the leaders dont really care as long as got someone there to do the sound.so nothing much to tell them really unless changing members lor…if not they dont bother either…seems like only in front matters …reminder im here to serve God not people so just do my job n love it i guess

life

16 Mar

Hate the first 3 days of my week.Thats all i guess just hate it.Spending it at home nothing to do today, parent didnt bother listening to me about my own medical condition and i dont get to go out…haix was dreaming about kfc all day.Well life i guess this is my life.