more cute quotes

3 Oct

i wanted to find quotes that were cute and funny…so erm here is what i have found so far
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
My boyfriend used to ask his mother,” How can I find the right women for me? And she would answer, don’t worry about finding the right women –concentrate on becoming the right man.
Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
If the girl you love talks too much,
you can smile and listen to her quietly.

If the girl you love is too stupid, (?)
Quietly forget everything. (this one was kinda hard to translate)

If the girl you love is close to you,
Just meet her everyday.

If the girl you love is far,
Call her constantly and go there whenever you have time.

If the girl you love looks sick,
You can become her father.

If the girl you love acts too hard on you,
You can become weaker.

If the girl you love is so smart you get a headache,
You can study really hard.

If the girl you love is too tall,
You can wear shoes with heels.

If the girl you love is short,
Wrap her arms around your neck.

If the girl you love rides a Benz,
You can drive her in a charismatic way.(?)

If the girl you love doesn’t have a car,
You can just buy her one.

If the girl you love is the daughter of someone wealthy,
Tell her that money has nothing to do with your love for her.

If the girl you love comes from a poor family,
You live thinking that her family is yours.

If the girl you love is under a lot of stress,
Buy her a flower and have her stress go away.

If the girl you love gives you a lot of stress,
Hit the wall with your fist until you lose the stress.

If the girl you love is crying,
Get her a kleenex and have her blow her nose.

If the girl you love is in depression, (?)
Hug her as tightly as you can.

If the girl you love doesn’t have money,
Buy her the things she wants in a subtle manner.

If the girl you love is fat,
Tell her that you like how there’s more of her you can touch.

If the girl you love is ugly,
only the personality matters.

If her personality isn’t good,
Just pretend that it is. (?)

If the girl you love likes eating rice with beans,
You can eat it with her.

If she likes red bean rice,
eat red bean rice with her.

If the girl you love can’t cook,
You can try making your stomach stronger.

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